Living a Cross-Centered Life

Today I feel like writing a different kind of post than I have in the past...

Monday, I went to coffee with a friend and had such a great time! We talked about a ton of things, but one thing was something I had recently been a little concerned about. It was funny because I had been thinking about it, but wasn't going to talk to anyone about it because it wasn't a big deal, but it just happened to come up in conversation and it turns out she had 'been there done that' and allevited EVERYTHING I had been concerned about! The funny thing is, I hadn't realized I had been concerned about it as much as I had been until the concern was gone and the weight was lifted from me. Only then was it that I realized how much it had been affecting me.

On my way home I was praying over the night and for forgiveness for being WORRIED about the things I was when I know that's sinful and I shouldn't be, and it dawned on me (God revealed?!) how recently I have been both overanalyzing life and taking myself way too seriously! It's not as though I haven't been myself; it's just that the past two weeks or so I guess I have been a more subdued or cautious version of myself... and I have definitely been spending more time than I should thinking about what I said or didn't say, or how I should say certain things, and if I made things look just the right way, or even if I looked just right... I was just worrying about the most unimportant, superficial things in the world, but in that moment they would become some of the most important things in the world to me. Sinful I know!

And because of it, instead of just really enjoying the moment I am in; I had been constantly thinking about the next moment and about how to keep it here.

Instead of just staying completely focused on Christ and remembering that He is in control of everything so I don't need to worry about anything, I had slowly been taking bits and pieces of things and trying to take them on on my own. As if that's something I could even handle!

So this week, I have put myself back into His hands entirely and it has been so wonderful. It's the best place in the world to be. I have been feeling so blessed lately, but now the blessing is richer and fuller because I'm not clinging to the edges of something that isn't mine to cling to!

The joy you can find in Christ is truly unlike any other! "For the joy of the Lord is your strength" - Nehemiah 8:10

Tying into this, a few weeks ago, Jason loaned me C.J. Mahaney's, Cross-Centered Life. I wound up sitting and reading the entire thing cover-to-cover in the British Library while I had a few hours to kill while waiting for Katie to come back from Cambridge.

It was definitely a 'God-thing' that I had that book with me, because honestly I was in a pretty awful mood when I finally made it to the library. I was just so overwhelmed, tired, hungry and emotional... and I didn't have a clue what I was doing or where I was going! I was all for the adventure until my cabbie dropped me off and I went by TWO coffee/ tea houses, only to find out they were all so full there wasn't even a single seat open anywhere! It definitely threw my plans off to say the least!

Anyways, once I settled in at the library, I wrote down a few quotes from the book, and one of them has really been coming back to me over and over since I read it.

Mahaney writes: "In the last week, what was your primary preoccupation in life? What was your spiritual focus? Was it on that spot where God most reveals His personal love for you - the cross? Or was it on your own circumstances, your own condition, your own concerns? Was your preoccupation with your personal pursuit of godliness? Growth in godliness must be pursued, but never apart from joyful gratitude for the cross." ~ page 106

I think Mahaney said a lot of dead on things in that book, but this quote is in particularly true. Our preoccuption needs to be with our personal pursuit of godliness. We need to have a Cross-centered life.

It's the best place you can be! I have challenged myself this week to really focus on making sure that my life is centered on the Cross, and entirely on the Lord like it is supposed to be. And second to that, I'm challenging myself to live in the moment, to shake off all the remnant of worry and concern I've been clinging to that isn't mine to carry... and to hand all of that off to the Lord... I'm excited to take on each day with this refreshed perspective!

The Lord has been faithful and gracious in more and better ways than I ever could have asked for, so I can't wait to see what He brings about next and to strive to go further and deeper with Him over the next few weeks!