Choices and change...

A few days ago I sat at the piano, and lay my fingers lightly on the familiar keys.

How long has it been since I sat here?

I love to play. But a long time ago I decided it wasn't something I did for other people... it wasn't something I wanted to do for everyone. And now it's not something I usually do with a purpose in mind. It's something I do alone. When the house is empty and the music alone can fill the quiet air...

It's then that I sing along with the simple melodies I play...

It's then I release my fear, my pain, my tears, my insecurities, my praise, my hope, and my dreams.

When it's just me and the Lord.

I love to sing Psalms, to pray the words out loud...

This time, I sat and look at my fingers laying on the keys for a few moments, because for the first time in a while I wasn't sure I knew where to begin.

My fingers touch the keys lightly at first, clumsy.

But as the time went by the more comfortable it felt. The more familiar...

... the more familiar and comfortable I felt, the more I opened up... I became more excited, more passionate, more alive.

Change has been surrounding me the past few months. But it's not so uncomfortable and scary anymore.

Sometimes I'm still... unsure of where I stand, of what I'm doing, or even if I'm enough... Why is it we want to be affirmed so constantly when we are feeling unsure?

As though we should feel unsure to begin with. Christ is all we need. He is our All in All. He is the Alpha and Omega, and our Beginning and End.

No matter what, our hope lies in Him, "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

I'm so grateful that we serve a Lord who chooses to love us like He does. I think love is a choice and though it may be controversial to say - I think it is as much a constant, conscious choice as it is an active feeling. And though I suppose it could be argued that it would be against His character to not love us, I do think the Lord has chosen to redeem us, to save us from what we deserve... He could have left us in Eden and with our consequences for what we chose... but instead chose to send His only son to save us, because He loves us - because "He so loved the world" (John 3:16).

And because of that, because of Him, I can stand firm with hope.

And my music becomes more sure, and I can play with confidence - even for a million people - because I know He is all I need.