These are the days...

The other day Jason and I were figuring out how many kids I've taught swimming lessons.

Here's what I figure...
-I taught all morning sessions when I was 17, 18 and 19. Then when I was 20 I taugh full-time so morning, evening and private lessons when I was 20, 21 and 22. When I was 23, 24, and now - 25 I've taught private lessons just as a side job.

- So the summers I was 17-19 - I had about 32 kids a session not including private lessons. 32 kids times four sessions is 128 kids a summer. 128 times 3 summers is 384 kids taught again not including private lessons.

- Then the summers I was 20-22 I taught seven classes a day. Seven times 8 is 72 kids a session, times four sessions... I taught roughly 288 kids a summer. 288 times three summers is 864 kids taught, not including private lessons.

- So in just group lessons I have taught roughly 1,152 kids in swimming lessons.

And right now, for the first time ever, I have a child who I simply think I cannot teach a thing.

I don't think there is such thing as an 'unteachable' child. I've taught kids with autism, kids with disabilities, kids with insane fears of water... but this one is different.

This one has every ability to learn - he is smart, he is physically able, he is a fast learner - when he wants to learn, but he is also absolutely the most stubborn child I have ever met in my life.

He just doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want to learn.

And because of that my capability to do anything with him is limited to teaching him very very little.

It's the most frustrating thing in the world to want to equip this child with something that will help him, that he would probably have so much fun with, and that he would probably excel in, but he just refuses to do so.

This morning while I was doing my Bible study I began thinking about how a lot of times a lot of us are just like this little boy I'm trying to teach... God has a world of things He'll do through us, that He will allow us to be a part of, but we just refuse to let Him. We want what we want when we want to. We get focused on what WE WANT, or what we think we should do and we leave Him out of the picture. We miss out on so much because we dig in our heals and simply refuse to get out of our ourselves. We sit on the corner of the pool refusing to put our toe in four feet of water because we don't want to. Or we don't trust Him to teach us, or we don't want to start in the four foot - we want to be in the twenty foot, or we just want to remain in three feet of water because we can stand there - we're comfortable there.

Whatever our reasons are we get in a position of refusing to let Him teach us, refusing to let Him guide us, refusing to simply trust Him, put down our nets and follow Him.

And because the Lord we serve allows our free will He doesn't force us to swim in the four foot, and because of that we absolutely limit what He will use us for. We miss out on a whole lot becuase we wind up chilling out in the three feet of comfort we've limited ourselves to, or end up squirming on the side of the four foot because we refuse to let Him take us in there. We'll follow Him to side, but won't get in.

Today, I know I want to become more teachable. I want to be willing to get out of myself and follow Him to wherever He wants. I want to be set-apart for Him - not set-apart because I refuse to trust Him and move forward...

I pray God will always keep me in a place where I'm teachable, where even if I'm scared I'm moving toward Him... whatever it takes I pray that I will stay in a place where I'm constantly moving further and deeper with Him...