Thoughts...

I'm restless today.... it's aggravating.

I'm trying to rest on His Promises. On His Word. On His Truth... I know His timing is always perfect. Always.

At all times, He is Faithful.
At all times, He is all Knowing.
At all times, He is guiding.
At all times, He is perfect.
At all times, He is Sovereign.

I need to follow.
I need to trust.
I need to...

I need to cling to my King.

This year has been a blessing. A year of recovery in so many ways from what had been a crazy few years... A year of calm, of constant after a few years of instability in everything I had considered to be stable.

And I learned...
He is the only Stability.
He is the only Constant.
He is my rock... He is the Rock of the Ages.

And now... Now I feel like I know where He is leading. Somewhere a world away from where I thought He would, but this feeling... It's impossible to shake. You know that feeling where everything just fits? Where you feel like you're walking hand in hand and step-in-step with the Lord? And you can't explain it, it doesn't even really make complete sense to you, but you just know what He wants for you?

That's where I am...

And it's beautiful, and wonderful, and such a huge and amazing blessing and place to be, but now I'm anxious to move forward. To take the next step on the path.

But, I know everything in His time.
In His perfect, beautiful timing.

And in the meantime... in this time... I'll wait and walk in His Promises.

Firenze

I'm about to get ready to go to a soccer game, but thought I should drop a quick note to say I'm back from my short-term mission! Italy was beyond incredible (the people in ministry there are indescribably great people and I wish I had a chance to get to know them better). We had a lot of incredibly great moments (VBS, campus outreach, and some great conversations...), and a lot of incredibly frustating moments (airplane delays, train strikes and hotel mishaps!), but the mission was fabulous, and as always, the Lord stands Great.

More on everything later though! If the Lord ever opens the door, I can't wait to go back and be a part of what the Lord is doing there!

~ Arriverderche for now! :)

I Love Summer...

Friday night...

The fan whirled softly overhead while a squirrel ran across the fence, and the fireflies made the landscape sparkle...

... dusk always makes me feel like the Lord's Hand is over us.

... as though He is surrounding the world with His Beauty.

... as though something greater than we could even imagine is just beyond the horizon waiting patiently on us.

... dusk is when Hope and Peace fill the air.

... it's when the best conversations, sweetest moments, and incredible memories are made...

And during those times, nothing but my big sister and an empty stomach can pull me from my lawnchair, because if only for a moment, the world feels as though the it is stable and still.

... if only for a moment on a Friday night.

Cali highlights!

My week in California was fabulous... I didn't realize how much I needed a vacation until I was halfway through the trip! I'll post more later, but here's some highlights in pictures!

We ate...

We cooked...

We relaxed...

We made new friends...

Reconnected and spent time with cherished old friends...

We climbed a mountain...

We played...

And we basked in God's Glory...

More to come later...

California

This morning...

My heart nearly hit the ceiling when I woke up and realized I had less than ten minutes to be out the door...

Somehow... by the Grace of God I think... I made it.

Driving home, my sunroof open, while stopped at the stoplight, I stopped, looked up and finally took a deep breath.

...vacation...

Four years in the making and now it's finally here!

California here I come! :)

Eyes that hold no hope

I have seen eyes that hold no hope.

Souls struggling... for nothing.

Working desparately for everything that they can't quite grasp... working so hard for everything that will never last...

All their work in vain.

Yesterday... I struggled to understand what the World's birth pains where... I knew of famines, of tragedy... but today... today it just all seems so close.

Too close.

Hurricanes, Tornados, Earthquakes... Thousands upon thousands of souls gone in a flash.

Birth pains (Matthew 24)... I understand now.

My heart struggles... We have it so easy and yet.

Of those... I'm sure that among those are my brothers and sisters.

I'm sure of it.

And they are struggling now.

I pray for them.

And I have seen the power of prayer.

Miracles upon miracles performed by our Lord.

Far away, and close to home. People need to know the way.

Because the darkness draws close...

But God is in the darkness. This I know.

His Light overcomes the darkness...

He is the Light to an overwhelmingly dark world.

And His children, His reflection even in the darkest of days...

Pray for His reflecting lights... Pray for His people... Pray for the lost... Pray for those surrounded by dark...

I see the darkness drawning closer, but I'm scared of my own weakness. I'm scared when I see brother and sister turn on each other over the silliest things... because if we don't stand shoulder to shoulder now... then when?

Help us Lord to be strong in You. Help us to stand side by side... Forgive us for being so weak... for being so easy to bend... for being so quick to find fault in others... and so slow to find it in ourselves... Help those hurting right now... be with those in the dark... Please stay near to us Father... Help all of us who are reflections to be as bright as we can... and guide our footsteps directly into Your loving arms...

There's nothing you can do if you're too scared to try

Last year...
I had the most beautiful little boy in my Sunday School/ nursery class at church.

He is incredibly smart, has the most beautiful green eyes, hates wearing his shoes, and has a little teddy bear shaped sippy cup that goes everywhere he does.

He also has Down's Syndrome.

For months, I stood back and watched him as he tried so hard to get his clumsy feet, legs, and hands to work for him... not against him.

Months and months went by and he continued to struggle. He became a better walker... He graduated from his high chair to a regular chair... He got better at using his hands... but he just couldn't quite get past whatever it was that was keeping him from being able to climb.

Until one day, Charlie learned how to climb.

Tears filled my eyes and one slipped down my cheek as he finally - FINALLY, was able to climb up on top of his chair. He stood as tall as he could, looked around the room, turned in half a circle and then threw both of his sweet chubby arms above his head.

I sent up a prayer of thanks as I sat behind him making sure he wouldn't fall.

Charlie can climb.

For months he couldn't do it... but he never gave up.

He triumphed and I couldn't have been happier... I wanted to throw him a party right there on the spot...

Because Charlie did it. He made it!

Later that night...I realized how we could all learn from my little friend Charlie.

I had Charlie in my class for nearly a year and every Sunday morning he greeted me with a big smile.

He was always so sweet to the other kids.

He always reached out to others.

And he never - ever gave up.

Even though he had every reason to.

Even though we would probably tell him it was okay for him to.

But Charlie didn't care.

Charlie never gave up on life...

Charlie was never too scared.

I don't understand how as believers we walk around without joy.

I don't know how we treat others - especially our brothers and sisters in Christ - so badly.

I don't know how it is that we so rarely reach out of our comfort zone and toward others.

I don't understand how we give up so easily even though we have absolutely NO reason to...

I don't understand what we're so scared of...

I feel the fear too sometimes...

Sometimes I'm so scared that I will fail, that nobody will like me, that I won't be good enough, that I will let someone down... or more importantly that I will let God down, that the fear nearly strangles the life out of me...

... It nearly paralyzes me sometimes...

But even still, I don't understand where it comes from.

And I don't know why it is that we don't reach farther, try harder, and dream bigger than anyone else... We already know the end of our fairy tale. We already know what Christ has promised us. We already know where we belond, who we are, and to Whom we belong...

So why don't we act like we know?!

Why do we act like we don't have an abundant life promised to us... Why do we act like we have something to fear when we're told that we're called to Fear the Lord our God and that's it...

Why do we act like we will have one million tomorrows, when we are told to live for today... for this moment... for this second... for this breath?

Why don't we all live a little more like Charlie...?

Charlie was and continues to be considered 'rejected' by the World, and so was our Savior... He continued to fight even when people told him no... Just like Our Beloved... He didn't fear anything... Just like our Abba... and he triumphed... Just like our Father.

Why don't we all live a little more like Charlie, and a lot more like Christ.

... that day Charlie reminded me that there is nothing I can do if I'm too scared to try... nothing I can become if I'm not willing to work... nothing I can overcome if I'm trying on my own strength and not on His.